Imperfection builds character — When we allow mistakes and failures to happen, it helps us to establish experience and knowledge to improve our perfecting goals without having stress attached with our expectations. Failing at something can be just as important as succeeding. Goals are always a work in progress. Without failures and mistakes, it is more difficult to succeed.
Many successful people are perfectionists. At the same time, they have the ability to say “Done is Better Than Perfect” and just complete and wrap up a project. What is the best way to overcome the stalling and procrastination that perfectionism causes? How does one overcome the fear of potential critique or the fear of not being successful? In this interview series, called “How To Get Past Your Perfectionism And ‘Just Do It’, we are interviewing successful leaders who can share stories and lessons from their experience about “how to overcome the hesitation caused by perfectionism. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing (your name here). Bonnie Frankel
Bonnie Frankel is described as being a perfectionist. Owning this trait implements her presence to be a marvel but doesn’t hinder her ability to just do it. Regardless of how you describe Bonnie, her spirit goes way beyond any expectations because anything she sets her mind to, she simply gets it done.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood back story?
Iwas raised by parents that didn’t express their emotions with love. Their personality traits were more focused on my being a role model of perfection. They were more than eager to dish out a spoonful of critical supplemented with tablespoon of judgment. Perfectionism consumed their souls and I inherited this trait. The fact that I never measured up to their or my own expectations was most discouraging which frazzled my brain. As a result, there was always this deep- seated voice whispering in my ear, “Don’t think you’re so hot.” As a youngster, I saw that no matter how hard I tried, nothing I did was ever perfect enough for them to receive their divine approval. This view of imperfection which I shared with my best friend would eventually lead to her to suicide.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person.” Dr. David M. Burns. Embrace victory even if you feel a sense of failure, because you will gain experience. You may also learn that something else will appear more befitting for you as well as likely present an invaluable encounter for you to thrive at. Your faults will enable you to discover a new destination to strive forward with your life as well as build up your character. The combination of my successes and blunders taught me that expectations of what I sought after wasn’t my calling. When I was striving to achieve my goal to qualify for the Olympic Trials at sixty, I had this gnawing feeling of fear of failure This fright on the day of competition came to fruition as it overwhelmed me and diminished my ability to obtain the gold. This failure enlightened me to consider that timing is everything, and it was absent. What I failed to perceive at the time was that this goal was resourceful but wasn’t the right journey for me to pursue. This failure guided me to explore a different pathway that opened up an abundance of unexpected, exciting opportunities that were tailored made for me. They would be more productive and meaningful as well as to help others.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson. When you suffer through your fears and anxieties, it triggers the possibility to build guts, persistence, and succeed to obtain an ultimate feat. Improvement at anything is based on many failures you make because the greatness of your successes in life is built on how many times you’ve failed at something. Remember, if someone is better than you at something, it’s probable is due to the fact that they failed at it many times before reaching victory. Don’t stop striving to achieve, it’s a process. When I fail, it makes me feel resilient which prompts my attempt to be get back out there and try again. The inability to not attain a goal can be just as significant if not more important than the triumph because you ascertain more knowledge and can lead you to expand in a variety of trailblazing possibilities.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Ambition — Believe in yourself and create a game plan on what you want and how to proceed with your process to achieve the goal. This is what keeps us moving forward when we face challenges or setbacks. When I tangled with the NCAA to change an eligibility rule for female athletes, they denied the possibility. The NCAA told me this had been challenged many times and never succeeded. I developed a game plan and my being zealous and defiant with the fortitude to force them to change the rule. By being a perfectionist, I found a loop hole. The rule was transposed.
Flexible -Uncertainty is something that pops up at times that are unexpected. It is a test that requires your willingness to adapt to challenges to make adjustments to get to the destination — the finishing line. This improves your ability to be more malleable and strengthens your commitment to learning to grow from within as well as outside the realm of your comfort zone. It forces you to think outside the box so that you are able to take a road less traveled to get to your goal.
Honest — When you are genuine and intuitive, the commitment to accomplish your goals with integrity will bring them to an honorable destination. Others respect you because you walk your walk and talk your talk, plus you will inspirit them to follow your lead. Those inspired, will go all out to help you get to the pristine target. When I battled with the NCAA, I portrayed my honesty with my monumental challenging backstory with the media and how running was significant in changing my life, and with that candor — Bonnie changed the rule, known as, “The Bonnie Rule.”
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly is a perfectionist? Can you explain?
Being a perfectionist can be defined as someone who’s constitution is to refuse to accept any standard short of being flawless. It is a thought pattern where one has an extreme need for things to go smoothly. With this in mind, a perfectionist is one who is very critical of self and others. Even when things go swimmingly well, the perfectionist trends to be dissatisfied and will continue to find fault. They tend to not be as connected with the process as much as the end result.
The premise of this interview series is making the assumption that being a perfectionist is not a positive thing. But presumably, seeking perfection can’t be entirely bad. What are the positive aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
The personality of a perfectionist can be a good thing because they possess as well as set high standards of excellence in whatever they choose to accomplish which can emulate others to duplicate this virtue They are relentless due to their ability push through difficult periods when others give up. This quality motivates others to persevere to get through predicaments when they run into a glitch. Perfectionists are highly organized, meticulous, and take up the challenge to upgrade themselves to even be finer if it’s possible. They are concerned about decluttering their space because of their tendency to set everything in order, which eases their anxiety. Being a perfectionist drives them to produce an ideal product, which leaders applaud.
What are the negative aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
A person who is meticulous leans toward overthinking which contributes to load unnecessary pressure on themselves and others to make the end product flawless. People spend unnecessary amounts of time to get to a place where precision just becomes an illusion delusion. They tend to be lonelier individuals and can be at a greater risk for both manic episodes and depression. Being criticized can make the flawless wonder become very defensive because it threatens to expose their shortcomings which affects their vanity much in the same way as failure does. They need to have more exposure with others so that they can learn from another to perfect their dream endeavor.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common reasons that cause a perfectionist to “get stuck” and not move forward? Can you explain?
It becomes a prison that keeps you from fulfilling your potential as it keeps you stuck by not recognizing that you are already at the achievable. They are not able to get out of the box because of the fear of failure. It can provoke negative feelings of not being good enough which brings discontentment that can lead to mental illness. Being unable to let go of mistakes or failures triggers the perfectionist to overload themselves to attain an unrealistic expectation of excellence. This in turn can restimulate the gnawing feeling that one feels of not being enough. Possessing this trait can make one feel remorse with the inability to delegate responsibility to others which overburdens them to complete the target because it puts more work on their plate which can put the project behind the deadline.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are the five things a perfectionist needs to know to get past their perfectionism and “just do it?”
1) Imperfection builds character — When we allow mistakes and failures to happen, it helps us to establish experience and knowledge to improve our perfecting goals without having stress attached with our expectations. Failing at something can be just as important as succeeding. Goals are always a work in progress. Without failures and mistakes, it is more difficult to succeed.
2) Take up a new hobby — Make sure that it is something that you are not likely to be good at on your first go around. Focus on enjoying the activity and slowly learn how to get better at it. This enables you to transfer this experience to an activity that challenges you to perfect.
3) Keep a journal — Set small goals that are practical and are attainable. This builds up your self- esteem and ones you will be able to accomplish with ease. This helps to remind yourself that you are able to attain goals that you wrestle with.
4) Focus on the process — The importance of the process is just as valuable as the end result. When we engage in the whole activity giving it equal time, we may learn to appreciate the entire entity and come up with a new resolution.
5) Exercise — Helps to express to release toxic stress as it refreshes the mind so that we can look at our thoughts from a healthier perspective. As it frees the mind and body, it seduces us to incorporate a just do it. attitude. This prevents us from not drive ourselves crazy if it isn’t perfect.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Good things can fall apart, so better things can fall together.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
How can our readers follow you online?
Bonniefrankel.com, Linked In, Facebook
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!